The times, they area a'changin'.
The sun was rising on another sandy Kuwait morning, and the proud troops of Attack Company were at the range. Kuwait now has range fans, for the vets who've been here before. And I didn't see a single camel.
I was fortunate enough to be scolded for firing a burst from an automatic rifle. I thought I was just doing my job as team leader. My machine gunner was having issues and kept having weapon malfunctions, so I hopped down behind his SAW and let a burst out. No problem with the weapon, just an inexperienced new guy. (Another post will follow concering the Army sending woefully unprepared privates to combat.)
Apparently, I was also a problem for the POG range safety who was kind enough to immediately inform me that the M249 SAW is designed to be fired one round at a time, though not in those words. So, I did what any self respecting Specialist would do: pretended not to hear him. He didn't think my second burst was any funnier than the first. He sucks.
During a walk to midnight chow a few nights ago, I was informed by my Platoon Leader that if any Baqubah '07 vets got twitchy and started trouble out of nerves, the PL would hang us out to dry. Baqubah was the backdrop for an awful lot of bad days during our last tour. The ten remaining platoon vets know this all too well. If we're told to roll into the city, we'll be on edge. And our Platoon Leader won't be. And if people with combat experience are forced to make decisions based purely on instinct, the PL won't back them up. Well, fuck you too, sir. The entire platoon is now working against you. Good luck with that.
We're getting ready to cross the berm, head north, and remind the fine citizens of Iraq what the ol' tweezy is all about. In the meantime, I'll update whenever I come across internet access.
I've drained my Green Bean smoothie, first call is a few minutes away, and I have a long walk ahead of me.
From the far side of the world,
Jordan
PS: Things I've Been Verbally Reprimanded for By POGs in Kuwait:
1. Firing a machine gun burst at a machine gun range.
2. Not ending each sentence spoken to my PL with "sir."
3. Unblousing my pants.
4. Rolling up my ACU coat sleeves (triple roll, for the vets.)
5. Not saluting officers while I have one foot in a porta-potty.
6. Calling friends in my platoon by their first names. Not scolded by them, though.
7. Wearing sunglasses on my forehead.
8. Resting my cleared and unloaded M4 on bipod legs in the chow hall.
9. Wearing sunglasses in the chow hall.
10. Walking to the shower out of uniform at 3 AM.
It's only been five days, give me time. Haha.
-Jordan
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I would say that you're well on your way to a BSM. Then again, I aint your no-load PL.
ReplyDeleteGood shit mate!
and i thought i was micro-managed. cripes!
ReplyDeleteThe funniest thing about this post is that ive contemplated some of the same scoldings ive recieved resently. I was actually thinking of a post about bipod legs in the chow hall. it just fucking baffles me.
ReplyDeletelets see:
1) machine gun burst at a machine gun range.
sorry bro, i have nothing. just a blank look on my face. i have no idea what i would have said. maybe i would have made mention the FM 7-0 battle focus training. I might have said something along the lines of " so training like we fight doesnt apply in kuwait, cause i have to tell ya... IM NOT SINGLE SHOTING A SAW IN SECTOR..... EVER..."
2)saying sir....
The best part about PL's is that they are LT's. I probably would have said something about how i have T-shirts that have seem more time in combat then he has seen in the army and that i may forget to say sir here in there but i will never forget to salute you in sector. I'll actually walk be you intentionally so that i can put myself in position to render the proper respect.
3)unblousing pants.
well thats a safety counter measure. Heat injurys are one of the biggest injurys to POG's who say in kuwait and on the fob. One of the ways to combat heat injurys in to unblouse your pants. its a safety issue. thats what we as soldiers are trained to do to prevent heat injures. remember.... everybodys a safety officer....
ok enough of this crap im tired. i could have ran down the whole list but im going to talk to my wife now. i wish i could tell you it gets better once you get to Iraq. It doesnt. play the game and only do what your rank can handle. there is no point in losing rank for fighing with a self important dick face who has nothing better to do then to be a sidewalk NCO in Iraq.
later bro NUGHT.
you guys are awesome.
ReplyDeletefor the record, i was referencing baqubah from last tour, and by "roll into the city" i meant any city we're around, not baqubah specifically. needed to clear that up before the opsec hooahs found me through google.
essence, word. i hope you're british or an aussie. i had the pleasure of training with both armies in germany last year. thanks!
marian, it's an endemic issue.
nught, the POGs are singing kareoke outside the internet cafe, and i'm at my wits end. i figured the situation in general wouldn't improve, but a man can dream.
thanks again for reading, means more to me than you'll ever know. should post again tomorrow.
-jordan
#5!! Hehe
ReplyDeleteI got into trouble once because I had a cake inscribed "To The Grand Poobah" for my boss's birthday.
The Poobah himself thought it was funny.